How to fly a kite and kill a guy (at the same time)

IMPOSSIBLE WOMAN aka Ninja Apocalypse / Ninja Avenger

VHS / Japan / fullscreen / English dub / Japanese subs
[click scan for full size]





Here's a pictorial rendition of the beginning of Gam Ming's (aka Chin Ming) very cool film IMPOSSIBLE WOMAN (Taiwan, 1983). It stars Elsa Yeung as a female hit-man and the first 10 minutes are among thee best first 10 minutes of any HK film! (yeah yeah I know I'm exaggerating and literally speaking it's not a HK flick so sue me! LOL).

The screen grabs are from my Greek ex-rental tape, not the Japanese tape shown in the above. The Greek VHS is half letterboxed and carries the original Mandarin audio track and English, Chinese & Greek subtitles. And also, the version on the Greek tape is the original Taiwan version (altho the print is probably from Hong Kong as it's subbed in English). The international version is dubbed into English and has added scenes of Westerners (but how much it differs from the Taiwan print I don't know as I haven't get the international version yet).













[click the scans for bigger size]

The original version with credits in Chinese (for some reason the uploader decided to cut off the English subs but they definitely ARE on the print):



The international version with credits in Roman characters:




Thanks to ed209vscain for posting the Japanese VHS cover on Cinehound!

THE FANTASTIC SWORD (Hong Kong/Philippines, 1976)

Original title: MAHIWAGANG KRIS

video-cd /Hong Kong / fullscreen / English dub / Chinese subs

(Hua Shan Films)
[Hong Kong/Philippines co-production, possibly with South Korean involvement. Philippines release date 12th November 1976, original title “Mahiwagang Kris”]

Director/Producer Hua Shan
Cast Ernie Garcia, Eddie Garcia, Gina Alajar, Vic Silayan, Bang Hi Joung.
[above info from Info from Andrew Leavold's "Bamboo gods and bionic boys" blog]




By Peter "Petcor80"

With HUGE thanks to Jack for sending me a copy to view!

This obscurity (English dub and Chinese subs) has only recently surfaced and there is little info out there yet, so I thought I add my two cents with a small review. It's clearly a Filipino movie with some Hong Kong influence (direction, special effects) and according to some of the scarce sources there was also South-Korean involvement in the production.

Some of the on-screen credits
Presented by: Lim Kam Youn
Starring: Ernie Garcia, Bang Hi Joung, Eddie Garcia, Gina Alajar, Vic Silayan
Assistant Director: Lim Jin Wai
Director Hua Shan



NB In the following synopsis the names of the characters might be spelled wrong as I am writing them just the way I heard them.

This fantasy story that has lot's in common with similar Indonesian and Thai productions I've seen, takes place in a land called Berengkeng where a sultan rules a small community of farmers and fishermen. There is a local hero, the fisherman Merkieting who falls for the Sultans daughter princess Mary. But then there is also an evil wizard named Antingkan who wants her to be his. When the sultan is getting old he sees need for giving his daughter away to someone worthy of his throne and Antingkan is already scheming to win her hand. But then a mermaid caught in the nets of Merkieting and then kindly set free wants to help the poor fisherman. She gives him a gift with which he is sure to come in favor of the sultan. A box that allows travel to a place called 'civilisation' (a big modern day city, Manilla maybe?).

SPOILERS AHEAD for those who don't want to know the entire plot before seeing the movie




Merkieting clearly has the best gift to present to the sultan, but Antingkan isn't called evil for nothing and enchants the sultan to pronounce him the winner. After this, Merkieting and princess Mary flee into civilisation. They learn that this modern world is full of people who say they want to help them but end up betraying them. First they learn about money, then they have to work. The princess turns out to be a good singer, but Merkieting is an even better fighter and he becomes a top boxer until he is forced to loose a fight by his manager. When he refuses it finally becomes really life threatening and the pair has to flee again, back to Berengkeng. There is now a small rebellion against Antingkan who has the sultan captured, but they are too weak and soon also captured. the mermaid keeps helping Merkieting however, and when all seems lost he is send on a quest for the Holy Sword that will help him defeat the wizard. When he succeeds in this quest the next one promptly presents itself as the princess is turned ugly by Antingkan and only a Holy fruit can save her. With the sword Merkieting is now able to fly, cleave mountains, fire lightning bolts and part water like Mozes, so he quickly goes out on this new challenge without fear. He faces a witch (with flying head!) and a very strong dragon guarding the tree with the fruit, but you can guess the way this one ends. [SPOILER] The princess and the sultan are freed and the wizard is cornered until he escapes into civilisation where he will meet the same dangers the fleeing couple had before, but without a chance of ever turning back. The young lovers marry and they live happily ever after! The end. [END OF SPOILER]








[first posted on Cinehound forum]



Thanks to Robert and Andrew for helping out with the credits info, and to Peter for the Cinehound review.

Wolf Devil Woman - trailer!!!

If you've never watched WOLF DEVIL WOMAN you MUST check out this trailer for this AWSOME movie. It's Hong Kong cinema at its most wild and crazy! (and it's not even from HK but Taiwan, LOL). 

And no need to ask where you can get a DVD; WOLF DEVIL WOMAN has never been granted an official DVD release (EDIT 20.06.2021: However, there does exist a so-called PD dvd, i.e. a bootleg, in the US. It carries the English dubbed version). There's a VCD and a VHS from Ocean Shores + various other VHS releases, both dubbed into English (actually it's been dubbed into English twice!) and in Mandarin with English subs. This trailer is for a boot from FLK who put together a DVD that apparently contains both of the English dubs + the original Mandarin audio.

GHOST OF GUTS EATER (Thailand, 1973) [review]

[click scan for bigger size]

Original Thai title: KRASUE SAO
produced by Banlue Utsahajit
directed by S. NAOWARATCH
starring Sombat Metanee, Pitsamai Wilaisak.


I finally got around to watching this VERY obscure and VERY rare film via a dvd-r off a VERY rare Swedish video release (thanks to Lars Jacobsson).

I'll try and do a proper review in the not too distant future but just quickly: GHOST OF GUTS EATER is one of the many flying head with intestines dangling underneath films that have come out from Thailand (and they continue to make these films!). Ironically, the by far most well known flying head movie is MYSTICS IN BALI which isn't a Thailand movie at all but from Indonesia (and released on a spiffy dvd from Mondo Macabro). Also, and again ironically, the Indo movie is head and shoulders better than any of the Thai movies I've seen not least due to the fact that it keeps the slapstick humour out. Some of the Thai horror movies are excruciatingly painful to sit thru due to their lame (very lame!) humour.

However, just like with MYSTICS IN BALI the people who made GHOST OF GUTS EATER left out the humour and thank you for that! What we're left with is a straight played horror movie about a young girl whose grandmother dealt with dark forces and became a flying head vampire(they are referred to in the film as "vampires")!! When the grandmother dies at the beginning of the film she makes her niece promise always to wear the ring. The crooked grandma just leaves out that she will live on thru the ring and make the niece do stuff at night as a flying head.

GHOST OF GUTS EATER is fairly long and doesn't clock in till the 100 minute mark but that's okay as it's pretty good, well played, and has a few twists and turns you don't expect. Like towards the end where...

*spoiler*

...her little son is just gunned down by some crooks but the film still manages to have a good ending where the husband forgives her and they kinda just forget about their little son's dead body lying around somewhere in the bushes.

*end of spoiler*




Now, being a collector of world-weird horror movies it means I've bought my fare share of Thai horror and unfortunately most of the time the ONLY way of watching these movies is via video-cd's from Thailand. This means terrible fullscreen formats, pixelation galore, no subtitles, and if that wasn't enough the prints are often taken from old video tapes with tape rolls and all.

And with that in mind the Swedish video tape is a revelation!!!

The picture is crisp clear and fully letterboxed!!! And the credits are "translated" to western characters as well as written in Thai. The film is presented in its original Thai language and being a Swedish video release it has Swedish subtitles and, whoah!! This is the first time I've had the chance of watching one of these old Thai horror movies and actually be able to fully understand what the hell is going on.

However, one weird thing is that the print has TWO sets of Swedish subtitles! One set is burnt-in on the print (so I assume the film ran in the Swedish cinemas at some stage. What a treat to have seen this at the cinema!). The second set is ordinary video subtitles. As if all this wasn't weird enough there is even differences between the two sets. Sometimes alternative words are used and in a few places different spellings are used. In one place I noticed the Swedish word for "you" was spelt "dej" in the cinema print subs and "dig" in the video subs! (???). I have no idea as to why (and although I read Swedish I don't have enough knowledge about the damn language to tell if both spellings are valid or not).

One more thing is there is a very good chance this Swedish tape is the ONLY time the film has been released anywhere other than on Thai vcd! Obviously I don't know for sure. The only person I'm aware of who has this tape is Lars so this is truly a collectors item! [edit: and he has since then sold the tape to a collector in Switzerland]

All in all a fairly good horror movie. By no means nail-bitingly scary or on par with MYSTICS IN BALI but as I said: pretty good and the good print is a joy to watch.

If you wanna read a bit more about FLYING HEAD WITH INTESTINES DANGELING UNDERNEATH movies then go to this thread where Jean-Claude posted a list of no less than 25 movies in the genre!


Big thank yous go out to Lars Jacobsson for the copy and scan.

Lars making sure no one gets the tape! (LOL)


[This is a slightly edited re-posting of a two year old post from my other blog]

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

No, that's not a reference to that old Black Grape record but a comment on myself!!! A while ago I posted some awesome video segments of Yukari Oshima from Japanese television and I kept thinking I should download them in case the uploader deleted them. Well, guess what I forgot to do and guess what the uploader did. Argh!!!

The one (slightly) positive thing here is that he or she hasn't closed the account but *just* set it to "private" so I'm hoping they'll open it again at some stage. :(

Don Gordon Bell talks about making NAKED VENGEANCE

When I first posted about NAKED VENGEANCE over on my blog about trashy Filipino war flicks ("When the Vietnam War Raged... in the Philippines") Don Gordon Bell commented on it. Don is one of those Westerners (or in Don's case American-Korean) who for one reason or another happened to be in the Philippines in the 1980s and got dragged into the local film industry. And the explanation for this? Oliver Stone went to the Philippines in the mid-80s to film his Vietnam War blockbuster PLATOON. After he went home the local film makers looked at all the equitment and film sets that the American production team had just left behind. And they figured it would be a grand idea to take that stuff and use it for their own no-budget "Platton" movie. Or rather movies. Plural. Plural in a biiig way cos they didn't keep it to just O-N-E PLATOON knockoff, they kept cranking them out!! And hail Thor for that, as Jared Auner (Worldweird blog) would say because all those movies are highly entertaining (well, most of them anyway).

I posted about NAKED VENGEANCE on my trashy war blog cos I figured the film's too cool NOT to post about. However, my trashy Filipino war movie blog may not be the right place to post about it as it's not a war movie! It's trashy alright, and it's from the Philippines, and violent too, but a war movie it ain't. And seeing as this is my blog on Asian (mostly) worldweird cinema I reckon it'd be a swell idea to repost Don's comments here.

Don later responded to my post on his own blog which you can check out HERE (scroll down a bit, you won't miss it). You'll find my original posts on the film HERE. Check the comments' sections, there's at least one other comment from Nick Nicholson who was also in the movie.

By Don Gordon Bell
I was one of the five rapists, with Nick Nicholson. Think my name was Arnie and Nick was Sparky. We had quite a challenge doing the rape scene...it was quite intense yet professional. Deborah Tranelli was a trooper and told me to really 'go down' close when I was, uh, well, going down on her just before her 'parents' arrive home. Most of the women on the set were upset at us for several days. (Sheesh, it's only acting)
Funniest thing was standing around in a 'jock-strap' that I was wearing, my buns hanging out. One of the STILL photographers caught me and gave me a copy but I lost that one.
I died a horrible death, being wounded by the revengeful "Carla" and knocked down into an Ice Crusher at the Ice House where my character Arnie worked. I had to improvise by duck taping a skateboard to my stomach and that way I could be pushed down the ramp with two huge blocks of ice behind me. Took three takes, first one the stuntmen pushed me to hard and cameras couldn't pan fast enough. 2nd take went great, but I got smashed with the ice inside the box. 3rd take, was the best, with the camera on short tripod the cameraman had to be pulled out of the way as I came screaming straight into the shot.
The last one I realized that I might hit so I grabbed the side of the box so I would not hit the camera and operator. The two blocks of ice knocked me upwards, slammed my head on the top, but gave them time to roll away. Both blocks of ice came to rest on top of me.
Director Cirio called out, in his usual calm voice, "Hey babe, you okay?" I was pinned against the back, unable to move the blocks off and no one was helping me. "NO, Direct! I am not okay...get me outta here." Everyone broke out laughing as Cirio called to "That's a Wrap!" By the time I got out, most had left the set. I went back to the hotel, with the skateboard still ducktaped to me, just for fun. AH, those were the days, what a way to make a living.

Don Gordon Bell

Don with Kaz Garas [L] and Nick Nicholson.

[first posted on "When the Vietnam War Raged... in the Philippines" blog, 10 January 2010]

NAKED VENGEANCE (Philippines, 1985) - review

[This is the uncut trailer from a Danish ex-rental VHS, not the censored Australian trailer]


By Fred Adelman

NAKED VENGEANCE (1985) - Now don't get me wrong here: I find most of director Cirio H. Santiago's films to be average at best, but he must have been taking hallucinogens here because he has turned out a perfectly crazy rip-off of I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE (1978), maybe even outdoing it in sheer sleaze factor alone. Carla, a commercial actress (Deborah Tranelli of DALLAS fame), watches as her husband is gunned down by a creep he tried to stop from raping a girl.

She leaves New York City for her home town in the country and is savagely raped by five townies in her parents house. When her parents come home and see what is happening to their daughter, they are shotgunned by the gang and then kill the local retard, making it look like the retard did the killings. Thinking that Carla is dead, they leave the house and go to a bar and get drunk. Of course Carla is not dead, just in a catatonic state and she is brought to the hospital.


The local sheriff (Bill McLaughlin, who walks around with an expression on his face like he was sucking on a lemon all day), doesn't quite believe the story and wants to question Carla on what really happened. Her doctor refuses as Carla fakes amnesia while picking off her attackers one-by-one. She lops off the dick one one of them with a knife and, just to make sure he suffers more, attaches a grappling hook to his chest an has his boat drag him out to the middle of the lake to bleed to death.

Another one has a car dropped on his body as she steps on the gas and has the tire rim cut off his legs. The leader of the raping pack, Fletch (Kaz Garaz, who played a sheriff in the 1996 remake of HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP), who is the town's butcher, knows who is doing the killings and decides to form a posse (the whole town seems to be full of torch-weilding hicks) and trap Carla in a house and burns it down. Thinking Carla died in the fire (she didn't), Fletch goes about his business in his butcher shop only to be surprised by Carla, who cuts off his fingers with a meat slicer, plants a meat cleaver in his back and then blows his head off with a shotgun.

The sheriff declares that Carla is dead and the killings are over. The next time we see Carla is back in New York City, getting even with the punk who killed her husband. This is grand sleaze that never slacks off its premise, which is highly unusual for a Cirio H. Santiago film (FUTURE HUNTERS anyone?). The film moves at a brisk pace and is never boring. It was released in both R-rated and Unrated editions, the Unrated edition showing more of the gang rape and lingers more on the bloody violence. Guess which version you should track down?

Mr. Santiago has directed over 100 features (many for Roger Corman) and is highly-regarded in his homeland of the Philippines. I consider NAKED VENGEANCE to be his crowning achievement. A Lightning Video Release which has been long OOP. This is another film crying out for a DVD release. Also starring Ed Crick, Nick Nicholson, Terrence O'Hara and a cameo appearance by Carmen Argenziano (HELLRAISER:INFERNO - 2000 and STARGATE SG1). Also known as SATIN VENGEANCE, but I've never seen it released under this title. Unrated.

[Thanks to Fred for letting me post his reviews from his Critical Condition web-zine!]

[This is an ex-rental tape from Greenland!!! Sadly it contains the R-rated print Fred mentions. Thanks once again to Diabolik of Cinehound for the VHS and for uploading the trailer for me. Cheers, mate!]

SHOUT! to release a bucketful of FILIPINO flicks in DELUX quality!!!

The buzz among fans of American psychotronic movies the past few months is that SHOUT! Factory in the US have scheduled to release about 16,000 tons of old Roger Corman movies! Needless to say this is a BIG deal! Many of these films have never been released on DVD before and the ones that have actually been granted a release on one of those shiny wee discs are often in less than brilliant quality - to say the least.

SHOUT! Factory are releasing these old trash favourites in spiffy awesome, restored, uncut, cleaned up, correct format, nicely perfumed, cool DVD-case-sleeve'ed, filled with extras editions!!!!! But, hey, this isn't a blog on psychotronic cinema but on WORLDWEIRD cinema so let's babble a bit about that shall we!!

The very reason I'm brining up these new SHOUT! releases is the simple reason that Roger Corman co-produced quite a few Filipino films ... and SHOUT! are releasing a handful of these! A BIG handful I might add!! In Double and triple sets!!!




Their first double set contains UP FROM THE DEPTHS (directed by Charles Griffith, produced by Cirio H. Santiago, 1979) and DEMON OF PARADISE (produced and directed by Santiago, 1987). Word on the street is they're crappy beyond belief but I don't give a fuck about what the grapevine says, I've already bought the DVD and I'll make up my own mind about them thank you very much (once a punk always a punk, ay).

I haven't watched either of the two films yet (I got the disc on Saturday) but I've checked the quality of the prints and the extras, and these restored prints look juust amazing! And also, and this is very exiting... the disc contains a rare trailer for the Santiago directed FIRECRACKER (aka Naked Fist) which I wrote a little bit about the other day in connection with ANGELFIST (also by Santiago, and both films are remakes of TNT JACKSON - which, incidentally, is also directed by Santiago and will ALSO get a release from SHOUT!). There's no official release date yet.

And further more... in June SHOUT! are releasing a "Women in Cages" triple bill containing THE BIG DOLL HOUSE (1971), THE BIG BIRD CAGE (1972) and WOMEN IN CAGES (1971) which all (and I'm sure it's pointless to mention this as I'm sure you all know this already) star the queen of the blaxploitation flicks, the BABETIOUS (which probably isn't even a real word but that's what she is!) Pam Grier!




I'm fully aware these films have been released on DVD before (I can't comment on their picture quality as I don't have any of them; I still watch them on video tape) but this release should blow them all outta the water!

On DVDmaniacs message board SHOUT! spokesman Cliff Mac said about the set in January: "WOMEN IN CAGES COLLECTION includes BIG DOLL HOUSE, BIG BIRD CAGE and, of course, WOMEN IN CAGES. All three films have been re-transferred and look amazing."

By the way, SHOUT! will also be releasing ARENA (also starring Pam Grier) at a later stage but I reckon it's not in this set as it's a co-production with Italy and not the Philppines.

As I mentioned earlier FIRECRACKER is also slated for release and so are SAVAGE! (1973), TNT JACKSON (1974), FLY ME (1973), and TOO HOT TO HANDLE (1977).




Cliff Mac said this about FIRECRACKER on Dvdmaniacs last month: "I just watched our new transfer of FIRECRACKER.... WOW... it looks beautiful....".

There's no release date set for the last four films either but I'm certainly looking forward to them in a BIIIG way! FIRECRACKER and TNT JACKSON on restored DVD!!! O_O
Almost too UNREAL to be true!!! I'm certainly crossing my fingers we don't run into another bloody recession until AFTER we've seen these cool flicks on the street.


[click cover scan for full size]

AWE goes WORLDWEIRD to release THE LIVING CORPSE and HELL'S GROUND this summer!

Gee, wauw!!! Another World Entertainment (AWE) in Scandinavia are planning to release Khwaja Sarfaraz' ZINDA LAASH aka The Living Corpse (1967) and Omar Khan's Mondo Macabro produced ZIBAHKHANA aka Hell's Ground (2007) on a double disc in June!!!

Four thumbs up from this here blogger!!!

It seems AWE are going to retitle THE LIVING CORPSE to Dracula in Pakistan, probably in order to make it sound more exotic - which is fine by me. Hell, they can call it "Pakistani-Dracula is a horny old geezer" for all I care. The main thing is they're putting this important and highly entertaining early Lollywood horror film on DVD.

Did I hear you say "important"? Why yes you did! ZINDA LAASH/The Living Corpse/Dracula in Pakistan is important as it's the first movie from Pakistan to ever receive an X rating! The movie was even banned when it was originally released! And then it was almost lost for good. The print that survived was literally found by Omar Khan on top of a trash can in an flooded basement!!! Mondo Macabro and The Hot Spot (Omar Khan and his brother's company) restored the print and it was released on DVD from Mondo Macabro in 2003. I certainly hope AWE enclose Omar Khan & Pete Tomb's commentary track!

HELL'S GROUND, the second film on AWE's upcoming DVD, was actually directed by Omar Khan! It's from 2007 and it's a Pakistani zombie movie! Yay!! Mondo Macabro co-produced it but didn't release it, it's out on Danger After Dark in the US. THE LIVING CORPSE/HELL'S GROUND DVD is also scheduled for release by Njuta Films in Sweden.

I must admit I'm slightly baffled as to why THE LIVING CORPSE is the bonus film on the disc... o_O ...as it is the better film of the two! I recommend that you read Omar Khan's review of THE LIVING CORPSE on his The Hot Spot review site. By the way, if you have any interest in Bollywood or Lollywood* films The Hot Spot is an awesome site for info!
*Lollywood is the Pakistani equivalent of Bollywood.

HELL'S GROUND is indeed a fun movie, and it's interesting (and cool) because of its origin (i.e. being Pakistani) but THE LIVING CORPSE is head and shoulders better; Its allure goes way beyond being interesting just for the sake of its unusual background. It is a very good adaptation of the Dracula story on its own terms and I highly recommend it! Trust me, I'm a professional and I know what I'm talking bout. Now, smell my finger.




From Mondo Macabro's website:

In the 1960's, even Pakistan was swinging!
To prove it, here's this amazing version of the Dracula story from 1967. So hot it was banned on its original release.
The only Pakistani film ever to be rated "X" in its country of origin, this sizzling little gem is also the first Dracula film to include the shocking "baby stealing" scene.
This first ever official video release, taken from the only surviving negative, includes a host of exclusive extras.

Zinda Laash - The Living Corpse - is a film so rare that even the most exhaustive studies of vampire films don't mention it. Although the film caused a sensation on its release back in the 1960's, it was banned and all but forgotten...until now!

An absolutely essential purchase for vampire film afficionados...for horror film fans...and for anyone who likes their horror hot and spicy.
A LOST VAMPIRE CLASSIC AND A LANDMARK IN ASIAN HORROR MOVIES

"I want to crawl into this video and live in it"

 

The headline is someone's comment on YouTube and I thought it fitted perfect as a headline here. This video is just pure bliss. In fact it's heaven! I could watch this all day long and still want to watch it again. The clip is from the Bollywood movie GUMNAAM from 1965 but most people will probably recognise it from the beginning of the American movie GHOSTWORLD (based on the ultra-ultra cool comic book of the same title). I could have used the restored version from GHOSTWORLD but I thought it was more fun to use the version from the original movie. GUMNAAM is available on several English subtitled DVDs.

THE WITCH (Philippines, 1975)

(Solar Movie Enterprise Co) [Release date 22nd March 1975]



Check out this awesome film poster I bought from an eBay seller in Thailand a little while ago. I received it a couple of days ago and it's even more awesome when you see it for real!

It's from a Filipino horror movie called THE WITCH from 1975. I have never seen the film and it seems it may very well be a lost film (or at least unreleased in any home cinema format!). Andrew Leavold wrote the following info on his blog:

Directors Ngai Hoi Fung, Ben Feleo Producers Lee Long Koan, Nellie Ybanez Associate Producer Shen Chun Cinematography Wong Kuid Nam, Gener Buenaseda

Cast Gloria Romero, Gina Alajar, Rodel Naval, Zeny Zabala, Balot, Tange, Etang Discher, Venchito Galvez, Angel Confiado, Nenita Jana

Here’s an interesting pan-Asian project: a horror film co-financed by Hong Kong and the Philippines and released in a Tagalog version in 1975. Despite all efforts trawling the net and cross-referencing the Chinese names on the Hong Kong Movie Database (www.hkmdb.com), I can’t find any trace of a Hong Kong release under “The Witch” or any other title.

Can anybody please help with evidence of a release outside of the Philippines, other than these Thai posters?

The seller had two alternative posters for THE WITCH, this version underneath is the one Andrew bought:



[click scans twice to watch them in proper size]

ANGELFIST (Philippines, 1992) - review

Directors who remake their own films are not an unknown phenomenon and in 1981 Cirio H. Santiago remade his own film TNT JACKSON from 1974; The remake is called FIRECRACKER (aka Naked Fist), however, what is quite a bit of a novelty is that Santiago even remade the film again!!! I guess he liked the plot, ay. The third time was in 1992 and this time he called it ANGELFIST. All three films follow the same plot about a kick-ass girl who goes to the Philippines to seek revenge for the death of her sister or brother. I watched the first two films years ago (on VHS) and tonight I finally got the chance to see the third film. Being a Filipino exploitation flick means it's sure to deliver in the entertainment department. However, I can't say making the same film again and again made Santiago get better at choosing great actors for his roles, haha.

Mein gott!! Cat Sassoon, the "actress" (and I use the term in the most loose term possibly) who plays the lead character is by far one of the worst actresses I've ever seen! I kid you not!! It's 90 minutes of "what the fuck was Cirio thinking!!!" She can't act, she can't fight (altho the film claims she was a karate champion - yeah, probably in Bizarro World), and her tits and lips look as fake as any Barbie doll's you'll find at Toys R Us! Man, those tits look so stiff and pointy it's probably a good thing no one landed on them head-first as I'm sure they could have punctured some poor sap's eyes!!! I'm not even kidding.

The guy who plays her love interest is well cast as he's every bit as crappy an actor as she is. I'm laughing my ass off here thinking about it! Having said that, I should point out many of their co-stars are actually pretty good, and we find good ol'e Filipino regular Henry Strzalkowski as a crooked cop. ANGELFIST is definitely entertaining but it's just not anywhere near as good as TNT JACKSON or FIRECRACKER.

PS: And in case you're wondering: Yes, Santiago also repeats the "main character is attacked by bad guys in hotel room while being naked and kicks their ass in the nude!" scene! Hahaha.

THE DVD:
The copy of ANGELFIST that I bought is a reg. 1 DVD. It's presented in the fullscreen format. The picture is pretty good not least when you consider that most of the Filipino films that we can get our mittens on are old wobbly video releases. The only extras is a trailer and some short biographies + a couple of trailers for other films. There are no subtitles.

It's ironic that out of the three versions that Santiago made this is the only of the films that has so far received a proper DVD release. Fortunately, Shout Factory have announced that they'll be releasing a bunch of Filipino films this year and two of them are TNT JACKSON and FIRECRACKER!


Henry Strzalkowski (on the right) with Darwyn Swalve (who was also in HANDS OF STEEL which has just been released by AWE/Njuta Films) roughing up Nick Nicholson in DEATH BOND (1988).

Sell-thru tape from Holland (thanks to Peter from Cinehound)

Eddie Romero's THE WOMAN HUNT (Philippines, 1972) - trailer

aka ESCAPE (UK)

This is the rare trailer for Eddie Romero's THE WOMAN HUNT. It's not on DVD but I have an awesome Danish ex-rental VHS of it. Big thanks to Diabolik who sent it to me as a nice gift, and he uploaded the trailer when I asked about it (even tho the nudity in the trailer may get him booted from YT if any PC dickheads flag it down!! EDIT 8. April 2021: It DID get him booted! So here's my own upload of the trailer!).

 

WONDER WOMEN (Philippines, 1973)

I received this Filipino flick today from Something Weird Video; It's WONDER WOMEN (aka The Deadly and the Beautiful, directed by Robert Vincent O'Neil) from 1973. I haven't watched it yet but I've checked the print and it looks great. Sure it's got scratches but it doesn't have a "soft" picture nor is it foggy like some of the old Greek video tapes. The picture is crisp clear and detailed. Sid Haig and Vic Diaz are in it. Bruce Holecheck mentioned (thanks!) over on my other blog that the film is actually going to get a proper release later this year on both DVD and blu-ray! It would be nice if some more of these old Filipino flicks would get re-released on DVD in proper versions! :D

The SWV DVD is available here. 10 bucks plus postage. If you're outside the US you can pay with PayPal (however, you'll have to send them an email as you can't pay thru their website).

NB: And 5 minutes ago I discovered that SWV have actually closed down their eBay store! I wonder why. @_@


Something Weird description:

Karate-chopping sex kittens! Organ transplants! Zombie sex slaves! Monster Mutants! Go-go boots! SID HAIG! Wonder Women! Yup, here's one of our Philippine faves, a wild and sexy shot-in-Manila grindhouse gem from the Seventies that plays like a live-action sci-fi comic book complete with a title that should've been a disco hit.

Fourteen of the world's top male athletes are shot with hypos, stuffed into coffins, and shipped to the Philippines by the lethal Linda (MARIA ARAGON, also in Love Me Like I Do, who should've had a bigger career than she did), and her beautiful-but deadly glamour girls -- who trade their mini-skirts for mourning attire in order to accompany the "bodies." When one of their targets is a famous jai-alai player with a hefty insurance policy, Lloyds of London hires ex-cop, ex-CIA, and all-around-tough-guy-stud Mike Harber (ROSS HAGEN, who also produced ) to investigate. With the aid of giggling cab driver VIC DIAZ (who's apparently in every Filipino film made in the Seventies), "the indestructible Mr. Harber" battles Won Ton Charlie's motorcycle assassins, then is seduced by Linda who kicks the crap out of him in his hotel room before the violence spills out into the streets of Manila where passerby stare, get startled, and even chase after her!

Mike eventually arrives at the island fortress of Dr. Tsu (NANCY KWAN, a looooong way from Flower Drum Song and The World Of Suzie Wong), a Su-Muru-style mad scientist "a hundred years ahead of her time," who's selling black-market organs and protected by an all-girl army. The missing athletes are there too, in comas and garbed in Saran Wrap, where they're used as unwilling organ donors and as sex robots fo Linda and her squad of killer cuties. Also on hand is Tsu's happy-go-lucky business partner Gregorious (the great Sid Haig of Spider Baby); a millionaire geezer eager to have his old brain put into "the body of a healthy, young, virile, athlete"; and a handful of hilarious motley monsters dubbed "Dr. Tsu's Freaks" which include a former basketball player whose exposed brain has a flashing light atop it. But the operation on the old coot goes bad, Linda is scheduled for "a complete dissection," and the monsters go on a killing spree...

Plus: brief titty; slow-motion cockfights; a killer kid; two quick cameos by MARILYN JOI; big bald BRUNO PUNSALAN (a fixture in Blood Island films); Dr. Tsu's "brain sex" machine; and the classic line: "Hands off, bitch, he's mine!"

Similar in many ways to Franco's equally goofy The Girl From Rio -- there's obviously more than one futuristic city populated entirely by shapely young centerfolds -- Wonder Women isn't exactly the sort of tongue-in-cheek entertainment one expects from ROBERT VINCENT O'NEIL, the director of such grim sex-noirs as The Psycho Lover and Blood Mania. In fact, Wonder Women is so fast, funny, and fetishistic, you'll barely notice it's rated PG>
From a 35mm print pumped full of anti rejection serum.
-- Cadet Happy



Product Details

SKU: 3298
Weight: 0.25 lbs
Format: DVD-R
Year: 1973
Color: Color
Starring: Nancy Kwan
Co-starring: Ross Hagen
Other cast: Maria de Aragon, Sid Haig, Vic Diaz
Directed by: Robert Vincent O'Neil
Produced by: Untamed Video

Betamax / Belgium / FS / English audio / Dutch subs

Shopping for that thar rare world-weird film?

Here's a quick recommendation for you; The rare and highly entertaining Indonesian film JUNGLE HEAT (not to be confused with the Taiwan film of the same English title, also known as "Last Breath") is on eBay right now!

The auction runs for about one more day. The film is directed by Ratno Timoer who also did the awesome movies THE DEVIL'S SWORD and THE BLIND WARRIOR and also acted and directed many more films (check his huge filmography here) and Peter "Rambu" O'Brian from THE INTRUDER (aka Rambu) is in the movie!

It goes without saying the film is not on DVD and probably won't be. And also, this Greek VHS is the only English dubbed release anywhere! Do notice that the tape is in the European PAL format so you'll need a multi system player if you're in North America or any other area that uses the NTSC format.
For the auction go here.

I should point out I'm not the seller.

SATANIC CRYSTALS (HK, 1989)

Original titel: DUO BAO LONG HU DOU



Check out this wild trailer!!! SATANIC CRYSTALS is released on German DVD (English & German dub), Taiseng/Pan Asia VHS (Cantonese with English subs), and HK laserdisc (Canto & Mandarin with English subs).

Director: Cheng Kei-Ying

Cast:
Leung Kar-Yan
Cynthia Lee
Christoph Kluppel
Chiang Tao
Sun Chien
Ng Man Tat
Stuart Ong
Ha Chi Jan
Shing Fui On
Wan Seung-Lam
Paul Wong Kwan
Cheung Kwok-Leung

Released on German DVD (English & German dub) & Tai Seng VHS in the US (Cantonese audio with English & Chinese subs).

Thanks to Spannick for the trailer upload and credits info.

CANNIBAL MERCENARY (Thailand, 1983) review #1

Reviewed by Günter Müller (originally posted on "Weird Asia")

[also check out review #2 by Andrew Leavold]



aka MERCENARY (US vhs)
aka EMPLOY FOR DIE (Thai vcd)
aka JUNGLE KILLERS - CANNIBAL MERCENARY (German dvd)



"This story is told ... by the man who can not forget a brutal war"

VHS / USA / fullscreen / English dub / no subs / 102m44s
[click scan for bigger size]


VCD / Thailand / fullscreen / Thai audio / no subs / original Thai version
[click scan for bigger size]



By GÜNTER MÜLLER (originally written for his sadly long gone site "Weird Asia")


CANNIBAL MERCENARY
aka MERCENARY
aka MERCENARY CANNIBAL
aka MERCENARY CANNIBALS
aka JUNGLE KILLERS - THE JAGUAR PROJECT
aka THE JAGUAR PROJECT
aka LAST BREATH [This alternative title is NOT correct. The mistake stems from a post on Dvdmaniacs where Linn Haynes (RIP) mentioned it was the film's original title but he confused the film with another war film from Taiwan called "Last Breath" and which is known internationally as "Jungle Heat" /Jack]

Thailand 1983
Directed by: Hong Lu Wong
Cast: Lek Songphon, Sugud Namchan, Rom Rachan, Sormud Charekchema...
Running Time: 103 min.

Ready for one of the most infamous and sought-after Asian exploitation flicks of all time? Yes? Fine! ‘Cause here it is, the notorious CANNIBAL MERCENARY, one of the goriest jungle shockers ever to hit the screen!

CANNIBAL MERCENARY tells the story of Wilson, a former soldier who scrape a bare living in a clinic and is haunted by memories of the horrible war he has taken part in. His only daughter is seriously ill and this makes him even more disillusioned. One day he is visited by a Colonel who offers him 500.000 dollars for a secret mission - for his native country, he adds earnestly. After a short time of hesitation he accepts the offer, mainly because with the money he is able to finance his daughter the much-needed operation. Soon he finds himself back in Vietnam, as a leader of a small group of mercenaries, and his first objective is to find his contact who will give him further details of the operation. The jungle turns out to be pure hell, full with kill-happy enemies, nasty booby-traps, dangerous animals and an unpleasant climate. The mood is extremely tense and the slightest spark can be the trigger to a terrible explosion, as all the guys are extremely irritated and their nerves strained to the limits.

Soon the group is decimated but the surviving mercenaries continue their mission unperturbed. Finally they meet a woman who turns out to be their contact person. After some more ordeals (some of the men are mistaken as enemies, tied to the ground, and pissed on) Wilson and his men have a breather in a small village, but not for long as the enemies are already informed of Wilson’s arrival and want nothing more than to get rid of him. Eventually the woman spills the beans and informs Wilson about his mission: he has to kill a certain disloyal Colonel who lives in this area and is the head of a well-organised drug trafficker organisation. How brutal and uncompromising this Colonel is can be seen in his camp where he tortures prisoners and slowly hangs them to death. And, as fate will have it, our group of mercenaries finally falls into the evil hands of the crazy Colonel, and to their horror they find out that most of the Colonel’s men are bloodthirsty cannibals who particularly like to feast on fresh human brains. So, once again, one question remains: who will survive and what will be left of them?

Before the film kicks off we can see an on-screen information that “this story is told... by a man who can not forget a brutal war!” This is followed by several images of war, like tanks rolling around, machine gun fire, and numerous explosions. Then the dark story slowly unfolds on the screen, bar the slightest trace of humour. We get to know the ‘hero’ of the piece, a disillusioned, cynical ex-soldier who voluntarily goes back to the horrors he can not forget in order to help his sick daughter. And as soon as Wilson enters the jungle we learn immediately that this is the kind of movie that makes no prisoners. “It’s either kill... or be killed” as one character points out accurately. Soon the group stumbles upon a few Vietcongs and before you can ask yourself ‘what will Rambo do in a situation like this?’ our heroes eliminate the enemies by decapitation, slashing their throats, crushing their skulls or simply gunning them down. All this is presented in a vicious, gruesome, but realistic and effective way and you know right away that CANNIBAL MERCENARY isn’t your ordinary jungle action flick.

Surprisingly, the acting is quite good and convincing. Special mention must go to the guy who plays Wilson, who gives us a credible and memorable performance of the broken anti-hero. But the other cast members are pretty good too, and one can almost feel their pain when they are confronted with the most horrific things imaginable. The camerawork is also very good, as it manages to give us the impression that we’re almost amidst the terrible goings-on (it’s really a shame that the camerawork can’t be fully appreciated as the only remaining uncensored version of this film is in horrible full screen). While the editing is not that good the music certainly is. Although some pieces are lifted from the Goblin soundtrack of the European version of DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978) I have to say that these pieces also work very well in this movie and perfectly underline and intensify certain key sequences. The story is interesting too, even though some parts have a lot in common with Francis Ford Coppola’s APOCALYPSE NOW (1979), mainly the Vietnam setting and the crazy Colonel. The idea to add some brain-eating cannibals to the already cruel proceedings eventually lifts the film into ultra-gore territory.

Truth be told, I have to say I came away with mixed impressions. On the one hand it portrays the horrors of war very well, and on the other hand it revels in unnecessary brutality and detailed gross-out gore moments. I think the ambition of the makers (if there ever was one) is somehow marred by this exploitative approach, though gorehounds certainly will be more than pleased by the on-screen violence. There are decapitations, slashed throats, knife wounds, bullet hits, crushed skulls, bisections, castrations, bullets in the heads, swords through bodies, and arrows that bore into flesh. But all this probably can’t prepare you for the gory sights in the finale, when one unfortunate man is buried up to his neck and his unprotected head is cracked open with hammer and chisel in loving detail. Blood gushes, the brains are exposed... and soon the hungry cannibals have the feast of the day. Before you have time to recover from this shock another prisoner has his eyes gouged out by the insane Colonel! No wonder the major part of these scenes are missing from the export print.

Even if the splatter effects look quite cheaply they are very realistic and pretty convincing and no worse than those seen in Italian cannibal gut-crunchers. CANNIBAL MERCENARY is an immensely gripping, brutal and shocking exploitation flick and when the 103 minutes running time are finally over all you can admit is that it does live up to its notoriety. The great ending is kind of schizophrenic by the way. One part of it is happy and optimistic, while the other part is very dark and nihilistic. This somehow reflects the whole movie that sometimes is a riveting anti-war film and sometimes a cheap and ultra-violent exploitation flick. The cover scan seen on the top is from the German DVD release, but before you surf happily to your next online shop let me tell you that this version is the export print of the movie, which infamous producer Tomas Tang cut together some time in the 1980s. While the full uncut CANNIBAL MERCENARY runs 102 min. 25 sec. the export version runs a mere 82 min. 38 sec. Both lots of story elements and most of the gorier moments are cut out, and - to add insult to injury - someone shot brand new scenes with three American idiots searching for a treasure that later were inserted into the movie. This doesn’t make much of a sense, but in this way the running time clocks in at over 80 minutes, since about 30 to 35 minutes (minimum!) are removed from the original version! So do yourself a favour and stay clear of the export version.

As stated above the uncut and uncensored CANNIBAL MERCENARY is the version to look out for. It was released in the 1980s in the USA on tape (with the on-screen title MERCENARY), but this version was out of print years ago so chances are pretty much nil that you are able to track it down. This version (as far as I know the only uncut release of this great film) is in a horrible full screen format and dubbed into English, and not very good at that. The German DVD states that it is based on the only remaining print of the movie but I refuse to believe this and continue hoping for an uncensored, widescreen DVD in the (hopefully) not-too-distant future.


DVD / Germany / letterbox / English + German dub / 83 min cut & paste version!!!

[not only is this German dvd heavily cut, it has also received the 'Thomas Thang treatment'! In other words; yes it's a cut 'n' paste version with inserts of Western actors to make it look more, well, Western!!]

UK / dvd-r / fullscreen / English dub / uncut 104 minute version.

This UK bootleg from ZDD contains the long uncut version from the US tape. The picture quality is good and as there is no official release available at present time this is the only way to buy the uncut film.



Thanks to Günter Müller for sending me his old review from "Weird Asia".

Also thanks to Andrew for his review.

And lastly but certainly not least big thanks to Kiba of Cinehound forum who sent me the scan of the Thai VCD cover.

Cheers, mates!!

CANNIBAL MERCENARY (Thailand, 1983) review #2

Reviewed by Andrew Leavold


[also check out review #1 by Günther Müller]



aka MERCENARY (US vhs)
aka EMPLOY FOR DIE (Thai vcd)
aka JUNGLE KILLERS - CANNIBAL MERCENARY (German dvd)



"This story is told ... by the man who can not forget a brutal war"

VCD / Thailand / fullscreen / Thai audio / no subs / original Thai version
[click scan for bigger size]



by ANDREW LEAVOLD

"This story is told... by a man who can not forget a brutal war!"

Around the time Antonio Margheriti was engaged in the unholy work of wedding the Vietnam War film with the cannibal genre in Cannibal Apocalypse (1980) and splicing the best bits of Apocalypse Now (1979) and The Deer Hunter (1978) into his blood soaked, shot-in-the-Philippines actioner The Last Hunter (1981), Thai filmmakers were also busy making their own demented backyard redux of Coppola's bloated paean to man's inhumanity. And oh, the inhumanity!

The film signposts its intentions early, through the overhead ceiling fan denoting "instant Vietnam flashback". Our hero - Namchoke? Prompit? Let's call him Wilson - has returned from a tour of duty and almost immediately is cajoled by his former commander to accept a mercenary job deep in the Vietnam jungle. It's not clear if the Vietnam War has ended, and even more unclear what a Sergeant in the Thai Army was doing there in the first place; nevertheless he needs the money for his daughter's polio operation and, since his wife was killed (cue blood-streaked flashback), they're both dependent on each other. So much for the sentiment. Onward, Buddhist Soldiers.

Wilson hits the Vietnam jungle running with a Mercenary squad under his command, a group of ugly Thai misfits with more than their share of chips on their shoulder. It's a treacherous trip up the figurative river, with the ever-present Viet Cong and their bamboo spiked traps executed in graphic, close-to-the-bone style, yet their most dangerous enemy, it's soon apparent amidst the spiraling paranoia, is themselves. After slashing and mutilating their way through a VC village they stumble on a pregnant Thai woman begging for their protection. With a cold, mean glare and a radio up her skirt, it seems she's leading them into an ambush, and succeeds with surprising ease in turning the men against each other. One private had riddled his wife and her lover with bullets, and thus wants to save the girl; another private, a relentless would-be-rapist, has his way with her - only to find his cock almost severed. Exit pregnant Thai in a hail of Wilson's pistol fire, and they carry off their mutilated buddy. Miraculously, he's cured twenty minutes later into the film, only to try the old "involuntary surprise sex" routine once more.


VHS / USA / fullscreen / English dub / no subs / 102m44s
[click scan for bigger size]

Wilson finally reaches his jungle contact, a glamorous commando named Choompah, but not before the rest of the squad are captured by Choompah's men, staked to the ground, and urinated on while her 2IC, an almost hairless, toothless and practically eyeless circus freak with a frotting fetish, rubs himself against one of his piss-stained victims. His disturbing bubble-head looked familiar; the actor turns out to be famous comedian Santhong Sisai - which translates to "ugly as sin"! - who was also a country singer and jailed in the Seventies for attempted murder. Which certainly didn't hurt his career, before his untimely death in a car accident around 1982. It's not the first pissing scene, either - but in a Thai film that throws in kung fu, cannibalism, outrageous gore and every conceivable 'Nam and post-'Nam cliches while making up a few of their own, a few bubble-headed toilet antics certainly aren't out of place.

Choompah fills in Wilson's remaining squad on their mission: to bring down a crazed VC Colonel (and it's at this moment when the Heart Of Darkness references tear though the grass roof) operating a drug empire - known as The Empire - out of a fortified camp guarded by flesh-eating aborigines - known as The Draculas! Once Wilson's men are captured, the film kicks into top gear and it's previous scenes of graphic mutilation and dismemberment are washed away in a river of gore. There's maggot licking, eyeball squishing, a knife through skull followed by a regulation cannibal chow-down on its contents, and seemingly endless rounds of ammunition tearing through flesh and bone: It's the ending you secretly dreamed of for Apocalypse Now, delivered by the trailer-load, yet somehow redeemed by its main offender's daughter wrapping her arms around him and gushing, "I wuv you daddy!" Awwww....

In addition to the Thai original and export versions, there's a THIRD titled Jungle Killers, edited by Hong Kong producer-hack Thomas Tang with much of the gore trimmed, but with the added bonus of three Euro-Trash actors looking for treasure. Looking for the Temple of Doom, perhaps? Move on, assholes. Make no mistake, Tang's Mercenary is to be avoided like the Plague, in favour of its longer, infinitely more excessive version. And yet, at over 1 hour 40 minutes, Mercenary is a fat-free exercise in cinematic brutality - a simpleminded one but not without its own dumb, animalistic, bludgeon-carrying charms. Its camera flourishes and manic montage leave little time between grotesque setpieces, thus allowing little time to contemplate just how primitive the soundtrack is. And I'm not just talking dialogue, with those regulation Hong Kong dubbing-booth Brits trying American accents and exaggerated Orientals (and Choompah's real voice replaced by Pam Ayres'). Even the foley and atmos tracks are poorly stitched, and the music a hodgepodge of library music and Goblin's Euro-score for Dawn Of The Dead (1978). No, we forgive its shortcomings because of the film's sheer onslaught of mind-bending imagery. The mud-daubed ghouls in denim, the Deer Hunter atrocities punted into Cannibal Holocaust (1978) territory, and above all, the blinking, puckering, rubbing form of Santhong Sisai frotting his way into our hearts and minds.


DVD / Germany / letterbox / English + German dub / 83 min cut & paste version!!!

[not only is this German dvd heavily cut, it has also received the 'Thomas Thang treatment'! In other words; yes it's a cut 'n' paste version with inserts of Western actors to make it look more, well, Western!!]

UK / dvd-r / fullscreen / English dub / uncut 104 minute version.

This UK bootleg from ZDD contains the long uncut version from the US tape. The picture quality is good and as there is no official release available at present time this is the only way to buy the uncut film.



Thanks to Günter Müller for sending me his old review from "Weird Asia".

Also thanks to Andrew for his review.

And lastly but certainly not least big thanks to Kiba of Cinehound forum who sent me the scan of the Thai VCD cover.

Cheers, mates!!